One Good Rant

Okay, winter, enough already! It is suppose to drop to 6 below zero tonight and maybe only get to 19 tomorrow??? I can't take it anymore-I need sunshine and warmth. I am already depressed, lonely, and have nothing coming up to look forward to. My close girlfriend was just diagnosed with breast cancer, the partner I thought was in it with me for the long haul bails and I am just flat out tired of it all.
I am tired of having to be strong. I am tired of being the only parent in my sons life-not to say I don't adore him, but-I am tired of doing the homework, brushing teeth, reading bedtime stories, getting him to bed, getting him up, getting him on the bus, doing the laundry, shoveling the driveway, taking the garbage out, cleaning the house, fixing anything that breaks, grocery shopping, taking the car in for oil changes, making the beds, vacuuming, recycling, feeding the dog, going to work to make ends meet, paying the bills and then starting all over again the next day.
I know, I know, get in line, right?? But dammit, I would just like there to be somebody at the end of day that is there to say, "I love you, honey and you make my world worth living. Let's grow old together, okay?"

Beautiful Morning

The large flakes of snow are coming at a fairly rapid pace this morning. My mom always used to say that when the flakes got larger, the snow was about done. I am not so sure anymore...maybe it was just her way of making me watch the snow more closely.

I am planning my vegetable garden today. I am thinking carrots, kale, lettuce, zucchini, watermelon (for Rex), acorn squash, cucumbers, pumpkins, tomatoes (a couple of varieties), green beans, basil, flat leaf parsley, red peppers, and maybe a pea variety-oh and chives. My ex in-laws have a nice rototiller and have offered to turn up my plots-one of which is an old bed and has been used for compost. My plan is to lay down flour bags (the 50 lb double layered paper ones from the bakery where I work)that have been cut open. I will mulch over the top of all and cut through it where I want to plant. This way I can create nice walking paths between the two sides of the bed. The cukes, squash, zucchini, melons, and pumpkins will be planted in mounds of straw. Only one of each plant. The tomatoes are being hung in 5 gallon buckets from an old clothesline t-bar. (MNmom gave me this idea!)

I hope to be able to paste many pictures of this endeavor and that this all goes as planned-if not, well I will learn some for next year!

Spring is Coming!

You know that smell of Spring? Well, even though it is still cold out-I swear I smelled Spring in the air today. Spring in my step-indeed! I breathed it in with every breath as I walked through the woods. The river was rippling a little louder, too-begging for canoes and kayaks.

I had said on my facebook post that one of my chickens had hopped out of the coop and yesterday when I got home, ALL OF THE CHICKENS were out and wandering about in driveway. Like them, I cannot wait for the snow to be gone. I am also looking so forward to lighting the fire rings and having a WELCOME SPRING party. Music, wine, good food, hot fires, mmmmm.

Keeping me busy this weekend:
Planning the vegetable garden-LOVE that Seed Savers Exchange is just north of town!
"Lessons from Cancer College" A play written by my friend Prof. Nancy Barry about her year of chemo and cancer and teaching. Being performed by Kristin Underwood at ArtHaus in Decorah.
Dinner with friends on Saturday night.

Yeahhhh....let the weekend begin!

Newest Depot Outlet Find

The second hand store in my hometown is called The Depot Outlet (it got its start in the old train depot). Anyway, most items cost anywhere from $.25 to $2.00. One time I spent $20 on one item-but it was an original Dale of Norway wool sweater for my son.

Well, to make a long blog short, I found an ORIGINAL pair of Bastad clogs in my size today. I had to pay $.50 for them! They are in perfect condition. The bottoms look like they might have been worn only to Lutheran Church functions (clean floors).

LOVE that the local Norwegians are parting with their fine wares.

Clearing and Cleaning

I rearranged my bedroom last evening. Vacuumed every corner, dusted every surface, flipped the mattress and then brought in the sage for a spiritual cleansing. Still, I miss him. Poo. Time will heal this wound and I am looking forward to moving on-even though it seems impossible right now.

I found some lovely sheer white curtains at the local second hand store for the windows. They allow the light and the view in-but add a certain romance to the room. I never thought I would like sheers. Alas, you never stop learning things about yourself.

I will post a picture once I decide where I want my artwork. I might even paint the room. Any suggestions? I love the creamy white it is right now, but thinking that a fresh coat of color might be the ticket. The room is in the northeast corner of the house.

I am trying to find more work right now. I have placed my name on the website www.welcomeindecorah.com as a wedding planner. I am hoping to drum up a few gigs from this. And hoping to be rehired as the Director of the 2nd Annual Oneota Film Festival (www.oneotafilmfestival.org). The first film festival was a success-so keep you fingers crossed.

For the Madame of Funny Leather Shorts

I read a post on FB from a fellow blogger about how nobody seems to be updating their blogs anymore. Well, I thought about this and decided she was right. I am going to make every effort to keep my blog current.

For starters, let me tell you that my "Farmville" (read a few chickens and the wild birds)have been keeping me quite busy these days. I am currently getting three eggs every 30 hours-give or take. Two are greenish/blue and one brown. They are tasty, but I am looking forward to Spring when the hens will be free-ranging and their diet will become more diverse. As for the wild birds, they have gone through 50 lbs of feed in a little over 2 weeks. I am getting a wide variety-as the seed bag promised. To name a few; house and gold finches, blue jays, cardinals, rose-breasted nuthatch, downy, hairy, and red-bellied woodpeckers, junco, tree sparrow, and of course the chickadee. So much fun.

Speaking of free range, I am having a massage today at my house by a woman who calls her business, "Free Range Massage." Clever, I think. I will let you know just how wonderful it is on my next post.
For now, stay warm and remember that winter will be over, soon.

What is Grace?

So, my S.O. and I have broken off our relationship. I know it is for the best-as does he. Unfortunately, it had been the most incredible, most powerful, most sincere relationship I have ever experienced in my life. How does one go on from this?? How do you pick up the pieces and move forward? I would take this man back in a heartbeat if he were willing to be "all in" all the time, but how long does one wait for that to happen?? He has an entire OTHER life when he is not with me. It is so hard to be in this state of flux-the unknown, between trapeze bars...I love this man deeply with sincerity, but maybe it is just not our season. So hard.

So, with all that said, I am moving forward with new goals. And, I am opening myself to the possibility that all is perfect and all will be fine. Man, I am a good catch! Trying very hard to remember that and to live with grace and love in my heart always.

Good bye, Eddie Bruce. I love you.